So for those of you that don’t know, pot is legal in Oregon now. I find this equally awesome because I don’t have to wait for my sketchy dealer to get off at Little Caesar’s to toke up. However, it also makes smoking pot less cool, because now your grandma can do it while knitting in her living room and your parents are accepting of it so you don’t have to hide it. Let’s face it, things are more fun when you have to hide them.
I had a boyfriend that snuck into my window and stayed the night for 2 straight years because I was 16 and wasn’t allowed to date boys. Having a secret relationship was so Romeo & Juliet, but once we hung out all the time because I was “old enough to be around the opposite sex” or whatever, we found out we hated each other’s guts and it wasn’t fun anymore.
I will argue that doing drugs works the same way. Legal things just aren’t as fun. Think about it. Scratch off tickets. Legal. Not very fun, Paying for parking. Legal. Not very fun. Being drunk in public. Fun. Not legal (In Oregon). Attending a back-alley petting zoo full of endangered species and exotic birds. Very fun. Not legal. Catch my drift?
The reason I’m bringing this up is because I awoke to a link posted on my Facebook wall that was video coverage of a news story from KGW8. The video showed a close up of yours truly ordering “an ounce of OG Kush” from the pot store across the street from my house.
Those sons of bitches got me on camera buying weed.
Legally. Just waiting in line like the rest of the loser deadbeats, like can I get 1 weed please. I wish, I wish it was called like Cannabis #1 or something, but no, I said fucking OG Kush on television. If I am going to be on camera, I want it to either be because I’m at the Emmy’s, roasting someone famous, or getting arrested for urinating in public (because getting arrested is still very cool. Ask anyone that raps.)
The first thing I thought when I saw the video was shit, did I have to wear my Chiquita banana sweater to the weed store? I also thought, how long have I been this fat?! Like it is a recent thing, or has this been going on for some time and no one had the courtesy to let me know? My second thought was, damn, this is really going to affect my street cred negatively. Not to mention piss off Derick as soon as he gets off at Little Caesar’s and sees this.
So here’s a little advice for you guys that still want to smoke legal weed and be cool:
- Pretend like it’s illegal and keep tallies on how long you can keep it from certain people that you smoke.
- Don’t keep your weed out in the open. Hide it in prescription pill bottles, crown royal bags, and small wooden boxes.
- Don’t smoke pot out of basic pipes, bongs and bubblers. If you want to be cool, smoke pot out of a crushed diet coke can with safety-pin sized holes poked in the top and/or an un-used piece of fruit. I’ve found apples work best, but get creative!
I hope my experience and advice can help prevent others from being publicly lame. Remember, don’t stop doing drugs, just do it in a way that is less mainstream.
XOXO,
The Weekday Hangover
milky feelings 