Games 

Game is something I don’t have. My friends over the years have given the usual advice: Don’t always be the first person to text. Don’t tell them you like them until they tell you first. Don’t always be available all the time. Say you’re busy. I always take this advice in …and then completely ignore it, which is probably why I’ve been ghosted like 2,009 times. 

I’m just at this age where I’m too busy doing cool shit to have the energy to be anything more thought out than who I actually am. 

If that’s coming on too strong, talking about unpopular subjects, being over enthusiastic or even the exact opposite at times, that’s just me. Sorry bout it. 

The thing about games is you can’t play them forever. Like how long do you keep it up for? When is it finally appropriate to be like, look, I know I’ve been playing it cool and ignoring the fact that you don’t know how to recycle glass, but my medical record states “neurotic,” the strongest feeling I have towards children is indifference, and I smoke methol cigarettes everytime I have more than 2 glasses of wine. Take it or leave it, fuck boy. 

I just feel like there is this conflicting message out there for young women that you need to “be yourself,” while also catering to a timeline that makes your  partner more comfortable, that makes you more appealing, less needy. Be yourself girl… but be a little less available next Tuesday, it makes you look codependent.  Guys hattttteee that. Also consider highlights.

I blame magazines mostly. My desire to be a “professional” writer  died  when I read a Cosmo article that featured the tragedy of bulimia, one girls survival story, and then the next page recommended that if you really want a guy to like you, you have to please him sexually all the time, and don’t forget to rub icecubes on your nipples and tie a ponytail holder around his shaft. Like, what the hell guys? American journalism at is fineist. They didn’t even site their sources, like, it’s not as if Roger from Sacramento was quoted, “yeah, my lady tied up my genitals like a messy bun and I was wicked aroused!” I think that idea was just a wild hair up someone’s ass and a severe lack of editing.

So what?! I say if you are free next Tuesday and you have a love interest, ask them to hang out if you want to. If you’re thinking about them, send them a text. Do exactly what you want whenever the frigging heck you want, and if you don’t get a positive response back, that person is maybe just less dope than you originally thought. 

This is coming from someone who romanticizes everything, so I get it. It sucks when the cute, indie  bartender doesn’t respond to your friend request, but I have never been happier being and saying whatever I want, and being 100% authentic instead of fretting over every text message in a “I should have, could have” fashion. 

Sometimes I say weird shit. Let’s roll with it. 

Anyway this PSA wasn’t really sparked by anything in particular, I’m just thinking about stuff I used to stress about that I feel a lot better not stressing about and thought it might be helpful to share.

As a side note, probably don’t share your medical records.