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All the Small Things

blink 182There’s something about spending  82 days in a leg brace and 6 months in physical therapy that really puts things in perspective.

I think it’s ingrained in the human condition, something about always having to search for better resources as a Neanderthal or some shit, where we can’t just chill out and reflect on how far we’ve come. How often do any of us really sit down and think, “I can breathe, I can walk, I can even pay my electric bill when I put my mind to it. I’m a decent human being and everything is pretty o.k.”

For me, the answer is never. I’m constantly in a state of mind, where I’m beating the shit out of myself, like frigging Tyler Durden. The internal dialogue ranges from, “Holy shit what am I doing with my life, and why am I not famous already?!” to, “Man, I really should have done a load of laundry last night.” It’s as if the fact that I’m not on SNL and don’t have clean underwear are the the defining characteristics of who I am as a person, and that person is lame with a capital L.

Well I’m over it, and am going to sincerely do my best moving forward to not be so hard on myself, which is a hefty effing task if you know anything about me. I can’t even take naps because I feel like I’m wasting valuable time that I could be running laps or dusting something.

I think we should all be more supportive of encouraging people to focus on the positive. Like, have you ever noticed when you ask someone how they are doing, the answer is always “okay,” or ,”good.” How come no one is doing fucking phenomenal? I want someone to be like, “Oh me? I’m doing mighty fine today, because I cooked food for myself and made a credit card payment.” If someone said that to me, I would be like, “That’s fucking awesome Rhonda. You celebrate that girl. You fucking bump that credit score to the heavens and get some essential nutrients today, dawg.”  (*I have no idea how credit cards work.)

We shouldn’t be so worried about sharing our accomplishments in the fear of making others feel bad or less successful or whatever. I’m reading this self-help book right now (because extensive therapy, medication, and extremely supportive friends and family just ISN’T ENOUGH DAMMIT) and it says that when you try to do something positive, especially something that is radically different from your current state, the “universe” is going to try to push back. Like, let’s say that all of a sudden I decide to get off the sauce, quit smoking, and dedicate myself to yoga practice.  I’m going to get all sorts of wack feedback like, “So what, are you not drinking anymore?” “Is that just soda water?” I know this to be true because it’s already happened to me numerous times. Way to encourage my drinking problem guys.

And we are totally all guilty of it. I had a friend that started hitting the gym hard, and she would always post Facebook updates about going to work out and “crushing it” and then take photos of herself looking like a total fox. I remember one night scrolling through my news feed while straddling a plate of Mexican food, and saying, “Fuck that betch. Fuck her right in her six-pack abs.”

But imagine if instead of nay-saying, and shaming people into hiding their accomplishments, we took inspiration from the success of our peers, and used that to fuel our own journeys to fulfillment?

As Taylor Swift so eloquently put it, “The haters gonna hate, hate, hate, hate, hate.”

I think whether it’s your own demon brain thoughts, or someone else tripping on your newly adopted paleo diet, or career change, or WHATEVER,  you got to “shake it off.” and just keep doling out those positive vibes. Share what makes you happy, and celebrate other people for making dope life-decisions.

XOXO,

The Weekday Hangover

 

 

One reply on “All the Small Things”

Kaylee,

You truly do have the capability to do all of the things you have set out to do. But you have to hear all of this from the right person – yourself. Self-motivation is one of the hardest things on this fucking planet and I’m kind of pissed that I didn’t get taught this in school, by my parents or even by society. As you know, I used to base my self worth and happiness on whatever relationship I was in and it always failed miserably because I wasn’t ever really doing things for myself. After my last breakup and asking some of the same questions like “what am I doing with my life?” “why can’t I have glistening, tan six pack abs with big boobs and a nice big butt to match?” I just sort of said “um, well, I’m going to just like… do all of this shit” I’ve been single for just over a year and I’ve worked toward a goal body and actually have a shape that I am proud of (I have never had this, ever), I’ve worked hard and promoted at work into a position that I really enjoy and adore the people that I work with and most importantly, I figured out the answer to “what am I doing with my life?” After 9 years, I’m finally going to school and I know what I want to be when I’m done. All it takes is a positive attitude and an agreement with yourself that you will try your best to love yourself every day. (And maybe some anti-anxiety medication but hey, that’s just me) Also, use the people around you that care about you. Michael has been my biggest supporter. I ask him to hold me accountable and do the same for him. When you have a partner in crime to rely on it certainly makes things a bit easier.

I hope this helps and for what it’s worth, I know you can do it and I hope you know that you can do it too.

-Amanda

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